


Bad Ideas

by tobitobito



Category: Glee
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Group chat, Multi, Sorry Not Sorry, i don’t know if I’ll ever finish this lol, sry if anyone’s ooc, um anyway I don’t like kurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21939583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobitobito/pseuds/tobitobito
Summary: Uhhhh glee group chat I guess
Relationships: (one sided), Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Nick Duval/Jeff Sterling
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	1. Why

**Author's Note:**

> lol this is so bad but it’s fine (there is some french so pls correct me if any of it’s incorrect)

[platinumbaby added sebastiannsmythe to the chat]

sebastiannsmythe: who the fuck how the fuck why the fuck

thadthedestroyer: jeff, he has ur number, idk why ur a jackass

downtownman: wait better question, why does ur name have two ns

sebastiannsmythe: my initials r sns duh

thadthedestroyer: what’s ur middle name?????

sebastiannsmythe: why the fuck would i tell u?

platinumbaby: don’t fight :( 

platinumbaby: it makes me sad!

downtownman: awwww babe! :) 

downtownman: don’t be sad!!!!

sebastiannsmythe: ewww

downtownman: just bc ur allergic to feelings and relationships....

[platinumbaby added kurtelhummel65, banderson and trentttt52]

thadthedestroyer: oh no

banderson: what’s going on????

kurtelhummel65: why oh no?

thadthedestroyer: bc this is a bad idea

banderson: can we add more of the new directions (and karofsky)???

platinumbaby: sure :)

platinumbaby: let me just make u a moderator!!!

platinumbaby: there u go!

[banderson added slopez, artie1515 and karofskyd12 to the chat]

banderson: :)

thadthedestroyer: this is going to go downhill quickly

karofskyd12: ???

slopez: what the fuck

platinumbaby: it’s a glee (and dave) group chat :)

artie1515: why

platinumbaby: :(

downtownman: don’t make him sad

[downtownman changed slopez’s username to satan]

satan: stfu

sebastiannsmythe: it’s accurate tho

kurtelhummel65: hold up craiglist the twink is on here???

thadthedestroyer: lol

[downtownman changed sebastiannsmythe’s username to craigslisttwink] 

craigslisttwink: u fuckers

craigslisttwink: I’m not a fucking twink go fuck ur selves

thadthedestroyer: get over ur self

platinumbaby: this was supposed to be a fun chat :(

kurtelhummel65: and yet you added Sebastian 

banderson: seriously kurt 

[downtownman changed kurtelhummel65’s username to princesshummel]

craigslisttwink: lol

princesshummel: shut up

craigslisttwink: no ;)

princesshummel: I swear to god

craigslisttwink: oooohhhhh what’s god gonna do? 

craigslisttwink: strike me down???

thadthedestroyer: both of u shut the fuck up 

downtownman: yeah ur gonna make Jeff cry

platinumbaby: I’m not crying!!!!! 0(^-^)0

downtownman: yeah u are

platinumbaby: yeah I am

platinumbaby: :(

craigslisttwink: i’d ask if u were sebby’s friends but he’s a bitch soooo

craigslisttwink: hxcjusduehzfstszhdydufugigucztzdeuohvbnhftyewtytsdhkoitwrgsasdseaskjikkkjhhjh

craigslisttwink: my sister stole my phone 

princesshummel: you have a sister?

thadthedestroyer: ur sister???

downtownman: u have a sister??

karofskyd12: sister???

artie1515: she was right about the bitch part

banderson: why didn’t we know about this???

satan: we ain’t friends w/ fievel why would we kno?

craigslisttwink: what she said

thadthedestroyer: did u two just agree????

thadthedestroyer: ?????????????????

craigslisttwink: shut up

satan: shut ur fuck

satan: ffs

craigslisttwink: goddammit

thadthedestroyer: u guys r way too similar 

thadthedestroyer: like wayyyyyy too similar

craigslisttwink: I resent that

thadthedestroyer: :/

downtownman: \\_(‘-‘)_\

platinumbaby: 0(*.*)0

craigslisttwink: pls stop 

princesshummel: oh wow I didn’t know u knew how to say please

craigslisttwink: Va te faire foutre

princesshummel: ??????

thadthedestroyer: he told u to go fuck urself

satan: u speak french???

thadthedestroyer: i speak google translate 

craigslisttwink: Brûle en l’enfer

thadthedestroyer: okay then

thadthedestroyer: I’m never talking to u again

craigslisttwink: what???? noooooo

craigslisttwink: i was talking about gayface

craigslisttwink: :*( 

thadthedestroyer: no

thadthedestroyer: I’m not falling for that again

craigslisttwink: :*( :*(

thadthedestroyer: fine

craigslisttwink: ha 

craigslisttwink: u fell for it

thadthedestroyer: goddammit

thadthedestroyer: go fuck urself u stupid fuck

downtownman: well that escalated quickly

craigslisttwink: u luv me rly ;)

thadthedestroyer: do y’all hear smn?

satan: no 

princesshummel: me neither 

karofskyd12: nope

craigslisttwink: f u 

satan: u wish meerkat

craigslisttwink: ewwwwww noooooooo

craigslisttwink: i’m not straight!!!!!!

princesshummel: straight ppl r pretty gross

downtownman: ok so now bas and kurt r agreeing

thadthedestroyer: what has the world come to?????

craigslisttwink: seriously??

thadthedestroyer: :)

trentttt52: do none of u have anything better to do

downtownman: nope

thadthedestroyer: i’m just trying to avoid talking to my fam 

thadthedestroyer: they decided to have a reunion

thadthedestroyer: except everyone hates each other so now they’re yelling a lot

craigslisttwink: sounds like my family lol

platinumbaby: mood

banderson: are you guys okay???? I thought my family was dysfunctional but man....

craigslisttwink: awww u care :) 

princesshummel: stay away from my bf u creep

craigslisttwink: I’m hurt

craigslisttwink: gayface called me a creep

craigslisttwink: whatever shall I do

princesshummel: anyone ever told u ur a fucking bitch?

craigslisttwink: yeah every day

[platinumbaby changed banderson’s username to hairgel]

karofskyd12: accurate

platinumbaby: the power of distraction 

hairgel: wow thanks

platinumbaby: ur welcome :)))))))


	2. c R y P t I d

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk guys also kurt sucks and no one can figure sebastian out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy, I think this is slightly shorter than the last ch though.

platinumbaby: :( :( :( :(

downtownman: what’s wrong???

thadthedestroyer: pls don’t cry

hairgel: Jeff are you okay

platinumbaby: sebby’s mean :(

craigslittwink: what the fuck did i do

princesshummel: exist

craigslisttwink: 1 fuck u

craigslisttwink: 2 don’t call me sebby ever again only sacha gets to call me that

satan: lmao 

satan: sebby

thadthedestroyer: who tf is sacha????

craigslisttwink: my little brother????

downtownman: I just realised the only things we know about you are that you have a brother and a sister and you’re gay and french

thadthedestroyer: half of his whole thing is being a cryptid 

thadthedestroyer: the other half is being a slut

princesshummel: and he’s a bitch

craigslisttwink: that’s already too much

craigslisttwink: slut rights, THAD

craigslisttwink: (I’m french-american dumbass)

craigslisttwink: also gayface

craigslisttwink: if you had one more brain cell it would be lonely

princesshummel: why don’t u go to walmart and get a new personality bc clearly the one u got from k-mart has expired

thadthedestroyer: both of u get ur insults off the internet don’t u

craigslisttwink: that’s what the internet is for

craigslisttwink: well that and porn

downtownman: gross dude

hairgel: sooooooooo

hairgel: let’s talk about something else

thadthedestroyer: wait we don’t even kno what smythe did

platinumbaby: it’s fine!!!!

platinumbaby: we made up!!!

downtownman: r u sure???

downtownman: bc if not then imma kick his ass!!! 😡😡😡 

craigslisttwink: I was about to make a joke but then I realised

satan: that ur not funny?

craigslisttwink: I was gonna say that it probably wasn’t appropriate :/

trentttt52: woah did Sebastian realise when something wasn’t appropriate??

trentttt52: it’s a miracle!!

craigslisttwink: ok wow tone down the sass

[platinumbaby changed trentttt52’s username to sassywarbler]

sassywarbler: yeah that makes sense

karofskyd12: lol

karofskyd12: also do none of u have lives

satan: maybe 

satan: maybe not

satan: what’s ur excuse 

karofskyd12: I’m literally in hospital 

karofskyd12: there’s nothing else to do

craigslisttwink: lmao

karofskyd12: wait Sebastian why do u use gay as an insult??? ur gay???

craigslisttwink: bc I can also it makes my parents think I’m straight 

craigslisttwink: 👊😔

hairgel: you’re not out to your parents???

satan: wait seriously 

downtownman: ur parents think ur straight???

thadthedestroyer: wait r we not going talk about those emojis 

sassywarbler: no???

princesshummel: you seriously expect me to believe that ur not out to ur parents

princesshummel: ur literally the most out there gay ever and a disgustingly shameless flirt

platinumbaby: wait do your siblings know??? 🥺🥺🥺

craigslisttwink: i’m 99% sure sacha doesn’t even know what being gay means he’s 6

craigslisttwink: also give my sister blackmail material?

craigslisttwink: uhhhh no thanks :/

satan: ok I don’t think I know anyone who’d stoop so low as to out someone like that

satan: oh wait

craigslisttwink: ooohhhh trouble in paradise 

hairgel: ok now is not the time

princesshummel: yeah get over it

hairgel: I never said that I just meant let’s hold off on having this argument 

satan: too late

thadthedestroyer: u better run princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for throwing Finn under the bus.


End file.
